Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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