I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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