They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
This is my gift to your gina
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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