She announced her abortion via fbk
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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