yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
