he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize