I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
