he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
