it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize