remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
