you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
