He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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