you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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