we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
