I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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