Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
