I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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