I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
