So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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