Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
