I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
