Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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