did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My liver just had a heart attack.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
