I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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