Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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