surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
