Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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