is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
