No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
