You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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