youre lurking in front of me
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
