He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize