what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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