Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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