I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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