The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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