using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize