he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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