I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Floor bacon is actually really good
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
