i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
