never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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