Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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