just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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