What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
