just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
