One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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