he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Let's paint friendship bongs
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
