heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Can I color on your dick again?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
