i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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