the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
