Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize