you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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