STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
