I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Come on in and take your pants off
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