Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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