I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
