if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
