No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So many bounce houses so little time
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
