Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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