sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
