normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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