do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
