My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
