why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize