You made me cry and you don't even care
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
