I feel great
I just peed on a car
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
