it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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