I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
