Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
