i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize