Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
