YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
