Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
