So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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