he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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