You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
