East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
