Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize