I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
