If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
